Warding off the Jinns

rooster

I have just signed the contract with Fred Segal in LA.  When I call Majid (see my post http://kahina-givingbeauty.com/blog/light-of-the-prophet/) to tell him the news, he tells me what I need to do in order to bless the store and keep it free from the harmful sprits known in Morocco as the Jinns.  The spiteful  spirits enter through doorways and drains and proper steps must be taken to prevent them from doing harm.

First, he says, a sacrifice must be made at the entryway to the store.  A goat would be best, but a rooster will do, and the blood must be shed by a Muslim.  I just read about a halal butcher on the Lower East Side and am wondering if there is a similar trade in LA. My thoughts lead to the image of myself and a butcher leading a goat down Santa Monica Blvd.  Then there is the messy part.  I don’t think my new retail partners would think much of a bloody bleating goat on their premises.  And then there is the discarding of the deceased goat.  While Majid tries to reassure me by telling me that I can donate it to the poor, I can’t imagine anyone outside of Fred Segal clamoring for goat carcass.  A rooster would definitely be better.

Then I must pour milk down the floor drain.  I don’t know if this is because Jinns like milk or don’t like milk, but either way I don’t think Fred Segal’s janitorial staff would think much of me pouring milk on their floor.  I decide that I will discreetly pour milk down the toilet and hope the Jinns will understand, much the way I explain to my kids how Santa Clause enters New York apartments by the fire escape.

The final step is easy.  I must burn frankincense and sandalwood overnight.  With all the candles in Fred Segal I have no doubt that 100 candles will offer sufficient scent to satisfy the Jinns.  Now about that rooster…

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